Episode 2: Between Soundcheck and Bedtime with Amber Bauer

Most touring musicians are juggling a lot, but when you add kids into the mix, it becomes a whole different kind of balancing act. Amber Bauer, a Canadian musician and mom of two, is right in the middle of it. She’s living proof that motherhood and a music career don’t have to cancel each other out, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

In this episode, Amber gets real about what it actually looks like to bring your kids on the road, and the trade-offs that come with it. From postpartum anxiety while touring to the everyday weight of mom guilt, she shares the parts people don’t always talk about.

We get into:

•  What it’s really like managing babies on the road (spoiler: it’s a bit chaotic) 
•  The reality of childcare when your job doesn’t stay in one place 
•  How her career unexpectedly grew after becoming a mom 
•  Her unconventional path into music 
•  Why having a strong support system makes all the difference 
•  And what she’s dreaming up next, including overseas living and online teaching 

Amber also challenges a lot of the assumptions around working moms in music. Instead of framing it as choosing between career or family, she talks about making decisions that actually line up with your values, even when they’re hard.

This one’s for:

•  Musicians who want a family but aren’t sure how it fits 
•  Parents trying to make a non-traditional career work 
•  Anyone craving an honest take on chasing big dreams while raising kids 

At the end of the day, Amber’s story isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about figuring out what works for you, leaning on your people, and being okay with a little chaos along the way.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you can build a life that holds both your ambitions and your family, this episode might shift how you see it.

Thanks for being part of this conversation. Mother Makes Music is all about honesty, connection, and reminding each other that we’re not doing this alone. If this episode spoke to you, we’d love for you to share it and keep the conversation going.

Follow along on Instagram and TikTok @mothermakesmusic

Mother Makes Music is hosted by Megan McKay
Podcast Artwork by Emily Pond
Podcast Theme by Matty McKay
Funding generously provided by Calgary Arts Development

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:13

Welcome to Mother Makes Music. My name is Megan McKay, and I'm so happy you're here. My guest today is Amber Bauer. Amber Bauer is a multi-instrumentalist. She is an incredible vocalist. She tours with a lot of great artists, and she is also a mother of two. The reason I reached out to Amber was over Christmas I saw her make this Facebook post about trying to get home from tour for her daughter's recital. And it just struck me as so refreshing to see somebody be so honest online about how hard it can be to juggle all the things. I feel like sometimes it just looks so easy. You get to live your dream and still be a mom and show for your kids and show for your work. And I think the reality of it is it's not always that easy. My conversation with Amber was so honest and refreshing and true to her experience. And I hope you love it as much as I did. So here is Amber Bauer. Well, hi Amber. Thank you so much for being here on Mother Makes Music today. We're so happy to have you.

SPEAKER_03 1:23

I'm stoked to be here.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Thanks for asking. So I wanted to start just talking about your life before you had children. So can you tell us a little bit about your path into the music industry?

SPEAKER_03 1:33

I was a bit of a strange scenario. I always say it's a bit of a Cinderella sidewoman music story. I actually have a kinesiology degree. I went to university thinking I was going to do sport medicine or physio or something like that. I'd always I grew up playing classical music. So obviously, music was a huge part of my life. My mom's a music teacher. So I always loved music, but I came from a really small town. And I thought I never in my wildest dreams imagined actually doing this for a living, like playing with the people that I heard on the radio, you know. So um that kind of came from meeting a man named Mike Little, and he ran a chain of events. I was looking, I just wanted to learn how to play the blues. I was like, oh, maybe one day I could play in a blues band or something. Like that, that was the dream coming from my classical background. And and I got in touch with him and uh through his music school, and he was kind of like, Why are you here? Like when I had played for him, because like I can play. I can already play. Yes, I can play and sing. However, there's a whole another world out there of styles that I don't know. And he was like, You should be doing this for a living. Like, I think I think you should have a career in this. And I'm like, I'm too old for that. I'm like 22 or something, you know? And anyways, he really encouraged me and basically set me up. Um, I was I wanted it. I did everything that he suggested and recommended, and he mentored me for a good year, taught me how to play Hammond, um, said, Oh, you need to be able to play the organ in country. So, oh, okay, what's that? I didn't even know what that was. You know, so he took me along and he really set me up. And eventually he started handing me gigs when he was too busy, and it started with Jesse Farrell. Uh, she was my first kind of big gig, and it was a matter of the uh, this is where the uh sort of unicorn moment occurred. I had to send a video of myself back then to audition to be in her band because she was with 604 Records at the time, and they wanted to make sure because I was pretty, I was green, no one knew me in the industry. So I had to send like headshots of myself and I had to record myself, and then she they said, Hey, yep, this works. And I was on a plane the next week. She flew me out. I got to be in a music video, I got to do all the big festivals that summer. Like Big Valley Jamboree was probably like my third giant show. Like it's just, it was kind of one of those whirlwinds. So that's my world. That's how I got into it.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

And what do you mostly fill your time with now?

SPEAKER_03 4:09

Now I tour for um Lisa Brokop. I've been with Lisa about 10 years, so she's kind of my main, my, my, my main heart and soul. I'm so grateful. She's my musical sister. We've been through a lot together. And through her, I'm now playing with a band called The Girls, which is like a 90s throwback with Beverly Mahood and Patricia Conroy. Lisa Brokop. Love these ladies, super fun. And then I freelance for a bunch of other projects. Hayley Benedict, play with her whenever she needs a keyboard player. Um, yeah, and there's a big long list, you know, play for some of the award shows for Alberta and Canada. And I I'm having to say no to a lot more now because of kids. So I kind of, those are my three projects that I prioritize, and then everything else I do if I can, if I can, if I can swing it, you know. And I have, I have, I have students. I teach online as well as in person lessons for the in-between.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

Before you became a mother, how did you define success in your career?

SPEAKER_03 5:06

Honestly, I feel like my career took off once I had kids more than I was so worried it was going to tank as soon as I had kids. And because of COVID, I don't know what happened, but things just started to really take off. Like Lisa had a lot more going on, and I was just my name for whatever reason was getting out there. And yeah, I guess success before I didn't feel like I had it. I was still working towards it, you know? Whereas the last few years, I'm like, I have more than what I ever could have asked for, and I can't take it now. So I don't know if that was an age thing. Like you gotta pay your dues, and finally your name gets spread around enough that you're like, yes. Whereas I'm like, I yeah, I would say the last five years, which that's when I had my first child, is kind of when I started to feel like I could say I was a musician, like a legit musician, even though I had been doing it all these years, and I look back and I'm like, I was legit. I just wasn't secure enough in myself to, you know, really believe it and and take it because I was still making money from other avenues. So it didn't feel like, oh, I'm a full-time musician, like these people who are on the road with their big artists all all the time. Mine was so sporadic and freelancing. Sometimes it's hard to add all that together in your mind as like a full package or something.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

Did you always know that motherhood was going to be part of your life journey, or did that kind of come to you later?

SPEAKER_03 6:39

I was definitely the girl that was like, I don't need that to be something that happens, but that seems like a really wonderful thing to do, if I could, if I could fit it in. I was very concerned that if I had kids, it would affect my career. That was a really big roadblock for me. And my I actually married a man who didn't want kids at first. So that was it was all up to me. It was it was kind of in my court if we were gonna have them or not. And um at the end of the day, I just I thought I'm gonna regret, I'm gonna regret it if I don't go for this, at least try for them. And so we did. And uh yeah, I think that was more my path. It didn't not, it was not something I had to have, but yet I looked at other people's lives and I thought, I can't imagine my life without that later. It's just seems like such a sacrifice right now to make it happen.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

Thank you for your honesty. I feel like there's sort of a still a little bit of a feeling, you know, your life is empty if you don't have children. And I think it's really refreshing to just admit that you weren't sure if you would necessarily have space for them.

SPEAKER_03 7:53

Thank you. My husband, he's pretty practical. And so we both have a lot of nieces and nephews, like 15 between us. And so we knew well, all of our siblings had already done this, and we were super involved with those kids. We adored them all, and was we knew what we were getting into in a lot of ways. And so he was like, you don't just do this because everyone does this. You you decide what you want your life to look like, you know, and then hope that it even works out for you because it took us quite a few years to get babies after we decided to go for it. So that was not an easy road for us either.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

That was gonna be one of my questions was if you were kind of conscientious of the timing, but I guess you didn't have that option, you decided, and it took a little while.

SPEAKER_03 8:40

That was just the reality for us. Um, I I was 37, I think, when I got pregnant with my first, and then we lost a baby in between the two. So, um, and then the second I had right before I turned 40. Like he was born in August, and then I turned 40 in December. It's interesting how you you push it off, push it off, push it off, and then okay, it's go time, and now all of a sudden, it's not working, and now you want it even more because it's something you can't have. So it's a very strange dichotomy that occurs.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

How would you describe your postpartum experience?

SPEAKER_03 9:22

Well, for me, as I said, my career ramped up after having kids. Um, maybe not necessarily, I was always playing for big names, but none of them had these careers that were like on tour for eight months a year or something like that. They're all sporadically playing shows. And so for Lisa, she made a connection in the US that now meant we were going to be in the US for 30 to 40 days every year. And this is when I'm pregnant with the first baby. And so I'm figuring out how to figure out, you know, a visa to travel because I had never, I had never had a P1, P3 before. So that was a that was a whole new experience when you're not sleeping and you have a newborn and you're trying to figure out how to get a visa. I think the visa came like a day before I had to get on the plane, and I had a Abby would have been uh under six months. So I think I was learning and making this all happen. She's born in our she was born in October, and we went on tour in February, I think it was February, March. So I'm learning new music, I'm band leading for her, so I'm setting up the guys out there that are gonna be new. I'm not sleeping. I I struggled with sleep. Sleep was a big problem for me. Um, so postpartum anxiety, oh, just like whirling inside of me. Um, I learned that you can have postpartum anxiety without depression. But generally, if you have depression, anxiety kind of comes as a package. So for me, I didn't recognize this as a problem because I'm I'm still functioning, I'm still making all these things happen, but I'm just getting, you know, tighter and tighter wound because I'm not sleeping. I'm learning music at two in the morning because the baby is crying and I don't know, I'm awake, I can't sleep now, so I might as well make this time useful because I'm not gonna get to tomorrow. Not to mention, I'm uh I'm one of the lucky ones. I vomit like the entire pregnancy. So I didn't have, yeah, so I was just like done. By the time the baby came out, I was already so done. So, anyways, there's a lot that goes into that. But ultimately, sleep deprivation and trying to learn music with a sleep-deprived brain was extremely anxiety-provoking. Like I had, yeah, my husband, like, what are we doing? This isn't working, you know, we need to make some changes, kind of thing, right? So it's hard. That's hard. Was it different with your son? With my son. Um he also came on tour. Oh, I should say that she came on tour with me. So at like six months old, she came to the US with my husband and my parents. So they came, not for the whole time, but thanks to Lisa, Lisa's like, bring the baby, like just come. And I was like, oh my gosh, that sounds crazy. So I'm like in hotel rooms, like breastfeeding or trying the breastfeeding was done at that point because that didn't work very well for us. But I'm I'm feeding a baby with a bottle, you know, in a hotel room with my parents in one bed and Greg and here with me, and the baby is just keeping us all awake, and we're trying, and the next day you're driving five like four to six hours to get to the next location. So that was insane, but also awesome. Like, how many babies get to say they did that, right? Or families get to say they've done that. So it was super cool. Not all negative. I guess I should just focus on the heart thing. So there was wonderful moments within all of this for us. And so then when Van was born, it was the next they're pretty close. They're like 20 months apart, 22 months apart. And so we did it again with him. But this time was easier because you know, I knew how to get a visa, I knew, I knew the band, like just everything was much, much simpler at that point. So they both got to go on the road. Abby got to go twice to the US touring around, hitting, I think I hit like 19 states in that month, I think. And they hit they hit a few in their 10 days that they came.

SPEAKER_01 13:32

So crazy town. That is so interesting. Does Lisa have children?

SPEAKER_03 13:38

She does. Yeah, she totally got it, and she knew that my I wanted so badly to get to tour in the US because I hadn't got to do that yet. And so she's like, sorry, now's when it's happening. And I'm like, oh great. So I was like, I'm not willing to leave my babies for like a baby under a year. I'm not gonna leave them for three, four weeks. I'm not gonna do that. But they could come. So I did have to say goodbye for like the first week and then the last week, but they would come in the middle, is how we made it work.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

That's incredible. That is such an interesting story. Did you know that this was gonna happen before you had the baby the first time?

SPEAKER_03 14:19

The first time, no. No, I wouldn't have known. She, I mean, she'd been talking about it for years. She was working out a deal with a concert company in the uh in the US.

SPEAKER_01 14:29

So we knew at some point it might happen. Did you have these romantic ideas of having your baby on the road and it would be, you know, or did you think that it was gonna be kind of a handful? What were your thoughts? I was scared.

SPEAKER_03 14:44

I was mostly just like, we gotta do this. Um, yeah. But uh I loved that my parents and Greg were gonna come and and you know what with the first one, you're still it's also novel and exciting, even though it's hard, that there's like this mommy superpower that kicks in, and you're not you're not five years in doing it and burnt out, you know, the same way. So I think with Abby, it was easier. With Van, I was more tired by then because I've now been a mother for two years. I've been, you know, vomiting for half of that because I was pregnant up to 14 months or 14 weeks with a baby in between. So I literally had two like a full year of sickness. So I was already, I was really tired by the time I went with Van. So with Abby, yeah, was probably more, we got this, let's see how this goes, you know, and wanted to do it. The second time it was more, oh my gosh, I know what that was like last time. And I'm so tired and I don't know, but I also, you know, I always have the fear of losing my gigs. And that's not to say that Lisa isn't good to me and committed, it's just the reality of this industry. You know, you you hand your gig over to somebody one time, and if things just make more sense, maybe they live closer, maybe they you know are willing to work for a lower pay, maybe they are just a better fit musically, then all of a sudden your your gig is gone, you know. So the job security is just not there in this world. So you make it happen, you show up and you get there, you just don't sleep or shower until the gig to make it happen, you know. I was thinking about today as I'm like washing my hair and actually showering for you. I'm like, hmm, weird. I'm getting ready to be in my home. I never do that, you know, unless it's a show.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

Nope. There's no time for that.

SPEAKER_01 16:45

I know. I love that moment when you see somebody and they're like, oh, you look great today. And it's like, oh, thank you. I I bathed. Okay, groomed myself a little.

SPEAKER_03 16:55

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

Can you remember any specific moment where it kind of clicked that you might have to sort of navigate things a little bit differently now that you were a mom?

SPEAKER_03 17:07

I don't think I was as conscientious of it as I should have been. I think I I'm the person that was like, I'm gonna do it all. My mom worked all my life, you know, she went back to work at three months. Like, I can do this, I've got this. And we're now Abigail's five, and we're now starting to have to have the real conversations of she's starting kindergarten in September, and now there's gonna be drop-ups and drop-offs and pickups that have to happen every day, and or at least two times a week. That's all changing everything. So I think I'm now finally having those thoughts of oh, I don't think I can have it all. I wish I I've tried and I I really have had it all for five years. That doesn't mean I've done it all well, you know. I feel I've been half asleep sometimes for gigs that I really needed to have a full brain for, but that's just what the cost was to make it happen, to say yes. And then I also feel as a mother, of course, we all wish we could do certain things better and do more of this or that. And yeah, there's just sacrifices that are made on both ends to do both. So we're we're kind of at the point where I'm still thinking I might have to scale back in some ways for now, just for the new changes that will come. And you know, and even that's scary though, because it's like, how many women do you see in their 40s and hardly ever in their 50s supporting an artist on stage? Like men, yeah, but not women. And it really frustrates me that it mostly has to do with how we look. You know, I think in a lot of ways, if you've taken a break from 30s to 30s to 40s to be a mom and stay home, it actually might have to do with your skill level, which still sucks. You know, that glass ceiling idea, right? It's you have to stay home and raise the kids, and you just can't keep your skills up, and so then you're behind and it's too intimidating. Or like me, I've kept them up, I've been working at it, and I'm at par with my male counterparts, but you have to look a certain way, you know? It's just how it works, and I I think that sucks, and it's really unfair. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

What would you say your relationship with mom guilt is?

SPEAKER_02 19:37

It's getting worse.

SPEAKER_03 19:40

To start, it wasn't so bad because when they're little, you just meet the basic needs, and and you can either, yeah, I'm meeting them or I'm not. Uh they're confusing and frustrating for sure, but they're also just so fun and it's it's different. It's definitely different now. As they're getting older, I'm like, oh, oh, I see that she did that because I do that, or um, yeah, you know what I mean? There's a little moments of, oh, crap, gotta work on that one. Um, so yeah, the mom guilt is it's coming in full throttle now. She Abby didn't she didn't really care. She was such a like free spirit little butterfly, like super happy to go stay at grandma's or her aunties or whatever if I had to leave, and no problem. But now she's upset when I'm leaving, and it just seems like there's more anxiety around it. And so now I'm having to really, really think about my choices and what's okay for us. And I don't even know if I'm the cause of these anxieties, but it's it's hard when there's just no roadmap set before me. Like there's no other moms, um, other than okay, I have a few Kirby. I don't know if Kirby Barber is one of my best music friends, I would say, and she's a mom of you know, two young ones too. And so her and I, we compare notes, but other than that, we're just trying to figure it out together, you know, and we just don't I don't know what this is doing to my children, me going away, you know, because most authors don't do that. So it's it's the unknown. That's where my guilt comes from and my worry, you know.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

Yeah, I find it so interesting. That was actually going to be one of my um questions. If you had any peers or mentors who have kind of played a role in how you navigate this season, but you're so right, because my husband tours and people kind of brush it off. Like, oh, well, we live in Alberta. Think about how many dads, you know, work at the rigs and are gone for two weeks at a time every month, and dads travel, that's what they do. And it does feel really different when it is a mom who travels. I don't think people think about it the same way.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

Yeah, no, oh, people judge me hard, like hard. It's weird because it's this, they kind of worship what you do because it's interesting and exciting and you know all the famous people, but then oh, I could never leave my children. I could never do that. You know, like the comments that I get, or you know, she's probably anxious because you leave. You know, there's not there's no routine for them.

SPEAKER_02 22:19

Like I hear that stuff all the time, and I have to I have to work it out for myself and take what what I need to hear and be like, that's maybe true, and I need to we gotta do something about it because my kids they're first, they're they will always come first, and um they need to.

SPEAKER_03 22:44

Um, but oh what does that mean on a daily basis? You know, like what I feel like I've chosen them first mentally, but maybe they need me physically, you know? Like just because I'm running around and trying to overcompensate everything before I leave, like it might be different. I don't know what it's like for you with Maddie leaving, but I I pick I have this idea in my head when I'm with all because I hang out with a lot of dudes. That's my world, right? I'm I'm as a side man, side woman, I'm with the band. I'm not always with the artist, and they're usually men. And so I'm always joking with my friends. I'm like, my like text threads are with like 60, 50, 60 year old men. Like every day I'm texting like four or five of them for sure from whatever band I'm in.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

These are my buddies, you know, which I love. I love so much. But when we go on the road, what they have to think about before we go compared to what I have to think about, I'm always flabbergasted.

SPEAKER_03 23:44

Like what they were even just doing that morning before we got in the van or on the plane.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

And I'm like, hmm, this sucks.

SPEAKER_03 23:57

This is really freaking hard, you know? And I have a husband who's very useful and very helpful, and I can't imagine. And my mother, my mother, she is the reason I can do this, like even more so than my wonderful husband. It is my mother. And she's so supportive of this because she loves music. She was a music teacher herself, right? So she's just so proud of me that I've accomplished these things, and she'll just do anything for me to be there. So I'm so grateful. I was gonna ask you about that. What does your village look like? Hmm. My yeah, my mom and my dad as well. My dad's super helpful, and I'm so grateful to him. I definitely need to throw him in there. I don't mean not to, but my mom takes on this extra role of she was a teacher, like and in the education system, also. So she teaches my kids to read. She's she was a piano teacher, so she's doing their piano practice with them. Like she comes in the house, she knows that I want them to eat, you know, nutritionally balanced. And so she comes in and she just basically does a better job than I ever could at it because she's amazing at all of these things, and I'm still learning how to do them, you know. And so my mom is number one, I would say Greg is number two. I if he listens to this, maybe he won't like that. Or maybe he'd just be like, yep, that makes sense. Because he's also the one that when I leave, you know, a lot falls on him for the driving and just the logistical things that when mom's mom's like his, you know, housewife when I'm gone. That's kind of how it works a lot of the time. And then my dad's there to like fill in the gaps. Who needs what? Where was you know, so um, and then that we also have my husband's family, they're so helpful too. His parents will take the kids, you know, for afternoons or overnights here and there. And um, we're just we're really fortunate. There is no way a woman could be a musician that tours without a village. Daycare wouldn't be enough because of just the time frames of things. My kids are so used to being with, you know, about 20 different people because that's how it has to be. I have to I have to spread it out so I don't overburden anyone in the year, you know? All the favors.

SPEAKER_01 26:15

Yeah, I totally agree. Like it is the it's the late nights and just the irregular schedule that make it so challenging. Are there any supports that you feel like you are lacking? My daughter really struggles with daycare.

SPEAKER_02 26:31

And so that's something that I am I my kids have been in daycare for between them three years now.

SPEAKER_03 26:42

And I I think we've had five days where they've ever gone happily, and that kills me because I only send them there to work, so then when they're there, I'm running around as fast as I can to try and get as much in to so I can bring them back home. So I wish that daycare felt better, but that's not a daycare issue because they've been to three different ones. I've tried different ones. It's just it's just them. They just they want to be at home, you know? And once they're there, they're fine. It's just this thing. So I wish that felt better. I really do. But other than that, honestly, I I think I have as about as much support as a person could ever have. Yeah, I'm really grateful. My husband is he's a rock star. He, you know, with he helps with domestic things. He he works and has a consistent job that financially really supports our world. And he's just a really good dad. You know, he's a really, really good dad to these kids. He's fun and vibrant and always taking them out for adventures. Like he fills in he fills in the the spaces that I can't. So I'm I'm fortunate there.

SPEAKER_01 27:52

What does a good work day look like for you? I think, you know, people see the part on stage and then they don't see the rest of it. Like, what is the rest of it for you?

SPEAKER_03 28:05

Let's I'd probably get if I think of an example. Okay, so Haley. I played for Haley Benedict on New Year's Eve. And uh, so you know, the music comes in over Christmas, there's a rehearsal that you have to show up for. I've played for Haley before, so that was a low output, like before the actual gig. It was very low output for me compared to, let's say, a new gig where I have to learn all the new music now. Um, and worry about fitting in with a new band and a new vibe and um just how they all work. Every band has its own culture, you know, and social culture. Do they stay up late? Do I have to make sure I'm, you know, hanging out with them at the end of the night? Because that it's all part of it. You're not just hired to play, you're hired to hang. And if you're not a good hang, that also is gonna prevent a callback. So you kind of you're chameleon, right? You're kind of reading like the room and who do I need to be today, and still be, you know, yourself. You don't have to be disingenuous, but like what part of myself is going to fit this gig best? That I'm always thinking about that. I think it's it's kind of like starting a new high school every single time you start a new band. So there's the emotional load of that, I think if you're starting a new one, and then the music. So they send you the songs, but that might be two days before. So now I just don't sleep for two days, and my family's in complete uproar. And I basically, you know, my husband's not happy because it's just boom on me all of a sudden, and now he's just it's all on him, and at best he would take them away so I could just get it done. Um, but probably not because now maybe they're sick, and now I have to now I'm up, you know, with the sick baby, or my my son, he fractured his leg um in December when I was right in the middle of like Christmas show tour season, and you just okay, now he can't go to daycare. So okay, I'm practicing with a ba with a child that now can't even walk across the room anymore. He's back to like infantry because I have to haul him, you know, and like it's just the insanity of trying to and now you're trying to memorize music when you haven't slept, like at all. I wish there was just little videos on the wall catching all these moments, you know, that I could put into these bloopers for people, because that's what's happening behind the scenes to get where I need to go. Not to mention just like packing a suitcase. Try to do that with toddlers running around and hopping in your suitcase and playing with your makeup before I know it's all over the walls. And like Abby's got my fake eyelashes on, running around the house. And then I get to the gig, I'm like, I only have one freaking eyelash. Where's the other eyelash? You know, like just the craziest things or one shoe. They pulled your shoe out of your bag. I know I packed this. Where is this thing?

SPEAKER_00 30:56

So just the silliest things that should be simple, not simple anymore. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

I hear that, yes. Can you think of one moment in your career where it just felt like the two parts of your life, the music, the motherhood, were just perfectly aligned.

SPEAKER_03 31:17

Hmm. There was a season. I can remember calling my friends, my best friends. When was that after COVID? So I don't know, in the last couple years, there was a season that the nausea must have subsided. I'm assuming I didn't have a second yet.

SPEAKER_02 31:34

Because once I had a second, I feel like it's just been a whole nother uh gear that I've had to kick into. Is your son quite different from your daughter?

SPEAKER_03 31:47

He is, yes. He was very he's super fun now, but he was very unhappy for the first year of his life. Just I think it was a matter of food. He couldn't he couldn't get enough nutrients and he had no teeth. He came his teeth came in in a whole year late, so he couldn't eat like protein properly. He couldn't, so I think he was hungry because he's trying to drink milk and formula, but he can't really chew food. So then he was just he wasn't feeling great, you know. So when his teeth kicked in, I think that changed a lot if I look back. But yeah, delayed teeth are not a great thing either. Um, but yeah, there was a time that I was like, I am killing this. I remember my counselor being like, hey, so how's like how's the mom guilt? And I was like, I don't have any. I think I'm I'm I'm an awesome mom. I'm killing this. And she's like, and the shows, I'm like, they're coming in. I'm I'm nailing it. I don't know how. So yeah, there was a time that things were really great.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

Like, I can't specifically remember when, but there was a time that yeah, there was a season. I love it. And there will be again. Absolutely. I have a couple just like fun, quick questions for you, and then I've got two more, and then I will let you get on with your busy work day. Get those kids from daycare. What is the most challenging time for you to take a work call?

SPEAKER_02 33:19

I would say definitely around dinner.

SPEAKER_03 33:22

That wouldn't that's just I wouldn't even answer. I'll call you back. You know, that four to six switching arrow.

SPEAKER_02 33:32

Something's getting done. What is your go-to after they go to bed? Um if you know all the things that have to be done are done, popcorn and an audiobook.

SPEAKER_03 33:49

And if it's like a day where I need more gummies, I love gummies. And I'm not saying edibles.

SPEAKER_00 33:56

That's just for the world's sake of that's not what I'm referring to. I'm referring to, you know, chewy candy.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

Okay, that's definitely what I thought you meant.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

I was with you.

SPEAKER_00 34:07

Okay, good, good.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

What is one household task you'd outsource permanently if money was no object?

SPEAKER_02 34:17

Food. I would have a chef come and make us the best nutritious, most amazing food all the time.

SPEAKER_01 34:25

What is one thing you no longer apologize for?

SPEAKER_02 34:29

I would say I'm working on that. I'm not sure that I am the best at that ever, but um something I'm trying not to apologize for is my chattiness.

SPEAKER_03 34:43

I guess I I've always worried that I talk too much and I want to make sure everyone is included and engaged, and I don't want to take over, which my friends tell me I don't, but I worry because I I feel like I have a lot to say, you know, I'm constantly like, hey, stop talking, let someone else talk now, and I'm always working on that. So I wish I could just be like, this is me, you know, and hopefully still be considerate in that, but just be okay with that aspect that I'm not the person that just sits back. That's not me.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

What's one myth about working moms in music that you would like to debunk?

SPEAKER_03 35:24

Well, for myself, I kept thinking it would get easier as they got older. I just had to push through the sleep deprivation and the all the things you're dealing with when they're little. And I'm learning actually it's gonna matter more to them if you're gone as they get older. So you really gotta figure out if you're okay with that. Like you need to be steadfast in your values about what it means to be a good mother and and maybe that means you have a career that you are chasing and you hope and believe that that will bring beautiful layers to their life that they could never have otherwise accessed. So I guess the myth that I would want to debunk is that it's gonna get easier as they get older. I I don't think it will. I think you just have to decide where you stand and and keep reminding yourself that over and over and have people to help you remember what your values are and just hold to them. And they might change. They may change. Minor changing for sure.

SPEAKER_01 36:40

What is next for you, whether it's creatively, professionally, personally, what do you have going on right now?

SPEAKER_03 36:47

I'm actually, because my kids are starting school soon, I'm I'm just starting to think about the next phase. You know, uh touring has been awesome. I've been doing it for 20 years, and honestly, I've I've seen the insides of all the theaters in Canada. I've now seen a lot of the US, and I would have loved to have done that world tour, you know, with whoever, but that's not in the cards for me anymore. I've let that go. And um happily, because what I'm getting from motherhood, although this podcast may not have focused on the good as much as I would like, it's so worth it. They they're the best part of my life, and I don't just say that because I want to tie it in a nice little bow. I truly mean that. Um, I believe life will have meaning whether you have kids or not, but because they're in mind, they're my true meaning. So I'm looking forward to actually staying home more, and so I think maybe phasing out of the touring slowly in whatever capacity that looks like, to do more studio work and um to build my online virtual lessons that I offer. That's something I'm really passionate about. And my husband and I would like to maybe live overseas with the kids and learn Spanish. And and so then I'm hoping to have that going so I can work abroad and not have to be here all the time. That's the stuff I'm excited about.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

Can you tell us a bit more about that? What is the online program?

SPEAKER_03 38:19

Um, so I do teach students in person. I've been teaching since I was 16. My mom would just hand me students that she couldn't take, right? And um, and privately, I did that for 25 years, and I great, love it, but also burnt out. You know, you just that's a lot dealing with that many families and 30 to 40 families a week and 30 to 40, you know, little musical careers, and uh it's just a lot because I really take it on and I want them all to be the best they can be, and I'm losing sleep over this kid not practicing, and I just I learned eventually, okay. Uh um I've been there, done that, and but I do love watching kids like play in bands. I've done rock band camps and I've done um this program, kids learn how to chord and sing along. So instead of learning how to read music, they're actually learning, you know, shallow um or the greatest showman. And then at the end of the year, they perform it in almost like a think of dueling piano setting. So there's four keyboards going and they have different layers. So one might be on the roads and one might be on the organ, and and so they all have different parts, but I can teach them all in one group lesson throughout the year. They learn how to sing harmonies, like they're becoming little piano rockstars, and they love it. I love it. It's now group lessons, so I can, it's scalable. I have, you know, five kids at once, so I make a bit more money and it's a little cheaper for them. It's just kind of a win for everybody. So I'm now converting that to an online course. So I'm hoping to do daytime with homeschooling families. And uh, you know, instead of the live performance, they would have a house concert at the end of the year that they have to set up with their families, and I'll kind of guide them through that and yeah, get them gigging. That's the dream. Maybe play in their worship band at church or whatever it is that they want to do. But instead of just like little solo practice that never really equates to like lifelong playing, I want kids to play forever, yeah, for fun.

SPEAKER_01 40:21

Where do you see yourself and your family in the next five years?

SPEAKER_03 40:25

In Panama. We want to go, yeah, we want to go to some Spanish-speaking country. My husband, he's learning Spanish, and uh we would love to go overseas and help out, do some volunteer work. Uh like I said, I would hopefully continue with online lessons and he'll homeschool the kids. And yeah, that's those are some dreams we have. But other than that, we we love where we are. We live in Fort Saskatchewan and we love it here so much. Our outdoor life, you know, we get to walk, we live right near the river, and um we're just we're outside a lot. We're quite outdoorsy, and you know, kids will be starting school and all the activities, and just yeah, 15 years of running that world, which I'm pretty excited about. I think that'll be a better fit for me than the baby years. So fair.

SPEAKER_01 41:19

There'll be a lot of um driving. This activity, that activity, this playdate, that play date. Yeah, and it's funny, like my daughter started kindergarten this year, and she's now in charge of her own social life. Like, I'll pick her up from school and she'll be like, Oh, I'm actually going to Andy's house. And I'm like, Okay. You know, if it's not me texting, trying to arrange a playdate for you, like fine by me. Yeah. It's funny how they kind of go into the world and just start doing their own thing.

SPEAKER_00 41:53

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 41:55

That's great. My last question for you what piece of advice would you give somebody working in music who wants to become a mother?

SPEAKER_03 42:05

Talk about the timeline for sure. Oh, wait as long as you can, however, don't wait too long because we almost missed it for us. It almost wasn't a thing. And if I could only have music or children, I would choose children at the end of the day, knowing all that I know now. So don't hold back from it because you're scared of your career going away. You'll never you'll never think the career would have been more worth it than this. You won't think that. You can't imagine that before you have them. But yeah, all you can think of is, oh, they're gonna take everything away from me. They will, they'll take a lot, they will, but but they're gonna give you way more than you could have ever imagined, also. So go for it. That's what I say at the right time.

SPEAKER_01 43:01

Well, thank you so much for your time. I really enjoyed this conversation. I feel like I learned a lot. I think people listening are gonna resonate with a lot of what you said, and just thank you for being so open.

SPEAKER_03 43:12

Hey, my pleasure. This was great. Hope to see you around in person sometime.